The last month (almost 2 months now!) has been absolutely insane. I still haven’t processed everything that has taken place, and when I think about it too intently I get really sad so I’m taking my time to digest and dwell on the things that have unfortunately happened. The last time I posted we were getting ready to jump in the car to take a very last minute road trip out to see our family in Oklahoma. We left Friday morning and drove over fourteen hours, stopping in New Mexico for the night. Saturday morning we got up bright and early to spend another twelve or thirteen hours in the car and headed straight over to the hospital where my Grandpa was being taken care of.
Story of what happened:
Thursday morning at 2:30 am my Grandpa got up to let the dogs out when he started to lose his balance. My Grandma happened to notice and asked him he needed help, he said yes. As she was getting over to him he fell over the dresser while my Grandma grabbed a chair and once he was seated slumped over against the wall and became unresponsive. My Grandma immediately called 911 and they quickly responded within 5 minutes and rushed him to the hospital. Once my Grandma got to the hospital the doctor told her immediately that he had a massive stroke and probably wasn’t going to make it…. This was the only news I was given when I received a phone call at 3 am… I was completely heartbroken and devastated. My Grandpa was a completely healthy 75 year old who had never been sick a day in his life! He was supposed to live until he was 100! That’s always how I imagined it would be…. the thought of losing him hadn’t ever crossed my mind.
Later that morning Papa became responsive and able to move both sides of his body, he was even cracking jokes like he always had. We were very hopeful that he would actually recover. By noon he had fallen fast asleep without being able to be woken. At first the doctors told us that he had a urinary tract infection that was causing his sleepiness and after some antibiotics he would wake up and be fine. The antibiotics were administered and we saw absolutely no changes. We knew he could hear us but he could barely respond and absolutely couldn’t open his eyes. We played his favorite old hymns at his bedside, he would tap his hand to the music, we would pray for him over and over, my Dad would read scripture to him, and we were constantly telling him how much we loved him. We were hopeful that he was going to eventually wake up and start the recovery process. Saturday we started noticing periods of apnea that he was having and that they were slowly getting longer and more frequent. We told the doctor and he looked over the most recent CT scan that they had done and he found new strokes in his brain stem which was causing the inability to wake up. Monday morning they let us know that there would be no hope for a meaningful recovery for him and he would remain in that exact state for the rest of his life. We knew without a doubt that my Papa would not want to live like that. It was a terrible decision to have to make, that if his heart were to stop beating we would do nothing to get it going again. The thought of losing him tore us all apart. We transferred him to a hospice house that Tuesday and sat with him everyday praying for him and reading him scripture. The hospice doctor assessed him when he got there and told us that it would probably take up to three weeks for him to pass away because all of his vital organs were strong and healthy. He went to be with Jesus exactly a week later. We were so incredibly thankful. The thought of him going through this for another week absolutely broke our hearts. As much as we wanted to keep him here with us, he was not the same Papa that we had always known. He had never been sick and wanted nothing more than to be with Jesus. We had to lay our selfishness aside and do what we knew was best for him.
He was one of the most incredible men I have ever known and I feel so incredibly honored to say I was his granddaughter. I know how much he loved and cared about me and the entire family.
The moment I will remember forever about the entire experience….
I was standing next to his bedside watching him sleep when he reached up to try and touch my face… I grabbed his hand and said “I love you Papa” and he turned his head and mumbled “I love you”… I burst into tears because he wasn’t able to communicate much with us and that was the most he was able to say. It meant so much to me that he could hear me and that he put forth so much effort to let me know in return that he loved me. He squeezed my hand so tight and didn’t want to let it go. I cherished every last moment….
I still don’t think that it has fully sunk in that I won’t be seeing him until I get to Heaven, but this entire experience has given me an incredible longing to be there and I absolutely cannot wait. I pray harder everyday for my boys that they would come to know Christ and join us all in Heaven someday…. what a day of rejoicing that will be.
How incredible is it that he is spending time with Jesus???? I still can’t get over that… Much more has happened since we’ve gotten back but for now I’ll leave it at that. I’m sure I left stuff out and forgot some things the entire 2 1/2 weeks we were there felt like an entire year had gone by and we felt like we had no concept of time… a very surreal experience to say the least…
Please pray for our family as we continue to heal from the loss of an amazing Grandpa, Father, Husband, Uncle, and friend to SO MANY people! He was definitely loved by many!
So excited that we get to see our Oklahoma family, but so sad that we have to see them under the circumstances that we are under. Tomorrow my parents, my siblings, me and my boys ( minus Kaleb—huge bummer!!) are packing up two cars and driving to Oklahoma. We are praying so intently that God’s will be done. I also plead that He spare my Papa’s life and let us have him for awhile longer. We love him so much and this was so unexpected. Dealing with death in someone that your so close to and love so much is so incredibly hard. I can’t imagine going through this without Christ and the promise that we will see him again in Heaven. Although I would really enjoy spending some more time with him here on earth :) My boys need to hear all of Papa Mugg’s good jokes!!
With that being said please pray for our family, my Papa, and safe travels. This is going to be a very stressful week, but in the midst of it all to God be the glory.
I feel like Oliver has been a ticking time bomb for a major boo boo. Today alone he hit his head really hard at least three separate times. He came out with a huge bump and a couple of bruises. He has been falling all over the place lately, I think he may be growing. Not much of an appetite, very sleepy, and very clumsy. I mean if you offer him a cookie he’ll eat it of course, but anything else he will just pick at it, take a couple of bites, and move on.
Lately he’s been putting two to three words together at once and it has got to be the cutest thing ever! Apple juice, baby owl, Kari’s house (when we arrived to see Aunt Kari—he loves going over there!), and others that I just can’t think of right now. Lately he’s been absolutely loving his crib. When he wakes up in the morning or from a nap I’ll go in to get him and he sits down every time I try to grab him and just starts playing with his toys or asks me to read him a book. And by read I mean point out all of the cool animals that are in whatever book we’re reading. He likes to say what each animal is and make whatever noise that specific animal makes. He makes a really cute noise and does a funny arm thing when he sees an elephant, same with a tiger and lion.
Recently he has become a lot more social than he has been in the past and I absolutely love it. For example tonight at Aunt Kari’s house he was doing things over and over just because everyone in the room would laugh at him. He never used to be that way, he would always be very quiet and serious. This new side of Oliver has been really fun. He has also been enjoying other little kids. Anytime we’re in a store and children walk by he gets really excited. We walked over to Kenzie and Beth’s school to pick them up and when we strolled through the sea of children he started shrieking with excitement! I have a feeling he’s going to love school someday.
Little Carter boy has been watching his big brother a lot lately. He lays in the middle of the floor and watches Oliver walk all around him and studies his every move. It’s really cute to watch. He’s also been very talkative and seems to be getting more and more content in his car seat, thank goodness!! He’s growing like a weed. I hold him all day everyday and I am really noticing how heavy he’s starting to feel. I mean, compared to his brother he really is a little peanut, but he’s definitely growing. The other morning I went in to check on him thinking he was still asleep and was surprised to see him wide awake, happy as a clam, looking around, and making happy noises. As soon as he saw me he started trying to scoot over (on his belly) trying to get to me! It looked like he was going to get up and crawl, craziest thing ever. It was really sweet.
Here’s a picture of Oliver enjoying his crib and Carter being a happy boy.
Oliver has started to sing a lot more lately and it is the most precious thing you could ever witness. One day this week he sat in his car seat and sang softly to himself in his own little language. PRECIOUS!!! And a couple of days ago while we were having lunch with Daddy at work he started singing the Jonah song… “Jonah! Jonah!” I said “What?? Your singing actual words?!?!”. I was so excited and it sounds so cute!
Carter is going through a crazy growth spurt… he’s been sleeping 14+ hours at night (I have to go in and wake him up in the morning!) eating every 2 hours and has been super cranky (mainly in his car seat—which is normally when he fusses but lately!!….yowza! my ears are still ringing!).
The last couple of mornings when I go into Oliver’s room to get him up he welcomes me by saying “Dada!!” and laughing… um no son I am your Mama and yes you know that but your just being silly… and when I go to grab him he drops to his mattress and lays his head down! He just wants me to sit next to his crib while he plays! It is so funny! So I do and eventually we get up and go about our day. I’m not going to say I hate it, it’s actually really sweet and precious. I love that he loves his crib.
He’s been using a regular chair at the dinner table instead of his high chair and he loves it. It makes him feel like one of the big people, that and his chair wiggles and makes noise on the tile floor which is quite appealing to a sixteen month old apparently. He does really well with it.
Today we went to SLO with Papa and Kyky, ate some Chino’s, got some coffee, and enjoyed some wait for it…. FREE DONUTS!!! It was National Doughnut Day so of course we celebrated!!! Oliver ate 1 1/2 of them…um wow son may be you should slow down a bit on the sugar intake!
This entire week went by way too fast and now it’s the weekend. We get to spend time with Daddy hooray!
We had a great three day weekend with Daddy! On Monday we spent some time together at home and enjoyed each other’s company. Later in the day we went to Oliver’s Nana and Papa’s house for a bbq, which was very fun. I think Oliver got quite used to Daddy being home because come Tuesday, while Daddy was at work, he asked for him pretty close to twenty times throughout the day. I just say “No Daddy’s at work he’ll be back later” and Oliver understands and carries on with whatever he’s doing.
The last few days have been so awesome. Let’s just say I am completely spoiled with these boys! They both have been sleeping from nine at night to nine or ten the next morning! WHAT?!?!? That’s over twelve hours!! I know, I know! And I get to sleep in! S-P-O-I-L-E-D for sure…
Carter is starting to talk and smile a lot more. He likes to fold his hands in front of him and absolutely loves being held, and definitely prefers if you hold him while your standing up! He’s a picky boy that one is, although he likes to cuddle but has no problem being laid down for bed at night. Hallelujah! I will hold you all you want during the day if you go to bed and sleep without a fight at night!
Oliver is a talker. He speaks English and Olivernese… today he came up behind me while I was doing laundry and said “Mama, blah blah blah blah blah!”. I have no idea what it meant, but he obviously was telling me about something in his own little language, it was so so cute. The other day Aunt Beth said “look at the baby owl!” and Oliver said “Baby owl!”. It’s really fun to hear him put two or more words together at the same time, he’s starting to act and sound like a little boy instead of a baby. I can’t stop and think of how fast he’s grown and how fast he’ll keep growing for too long or I start to tear up. Why can’t I keep him little forever!?!?!
The boys have started to interact with each other a little here and there. Oliver thinks it’s hilarious when Carter “talks”. Right now he calls him “Tarter” and has never acted out or gotten upset with him. He always looks at him with a smile on his face, he very obviously loves his little brother. I’m so glad the transition to brotherhood has been incredibly easy so far. It didn’t even phase little Oliver boy.
Oliver’s favorite thing recently is finding things to pretend like he’s playing guitar with. Tonight he found an Elmer’s glue bottle and held it right and made guitar noises. Today we went in Auntie Kyky’s car to run some errands and on the way home Oliver started singing very softly to himself and it was probably the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard! We all turned around and looked at him and he just kept going like he didn’t even care that everyone was watching him. He was just happy and wanted to express it. My heart melted. To know that my children are experiencing joy and happiness is so refreshing. It brings me so much joy. I really hope he does that again soon….
I’ll start with Friday….
We met Daddy at work for lunch and Oliver had his first hamburger. Let’s just say he liked it (fyi he ate the whole thing). We hung out at Papa’s house for the rest of the day until Daddy got home from work. That night we decided to go see Pirates 4 at the drive in with the Way and Mugg families. It was really fun, there were a lot of us! Pizza, soda, donuts, candy, chips all kinds of yummy goodness! Oliver was sitting in a different car than I was so when I went to check on him he had pizza and donut smeared all over his face! Silly boy…during the movie there was a scene where there was sword fighting and Oliver sat there saying “Ching-ching-ching!!!”, hilarious!
Saturday! We started the day off with a walk to Target for some bananas and the donut store for our Saturday morning tradition! It was pretty nice out, just a little windy. In the afternoon we ended up going to Solvang with my family and we had a really good time. We got ice cream, coffee, walked around to all of the little shops and enjoyed each other’s company. :) At dinner our food came to the table and Oliver immediately bowed his head (while peeking) and folded his hands by his mouth. At first we thought he was making a silly face/glaring at Bethany, but then he looked up with a smile on his face and said “pray! pray!”. It was so sweet! He knew that before we eat our food we pray to Jesus! I love how intelligent that boy is. Oliver’s word for the day was “dinosaur” he said it very clearly to Kaleb while they were playing out in Papa’s garage!
Sunday! We went to church in the morning and then stopped by the mall for lunch and a trip to the pet store in the afternoon. My Dad got Bethany a pair of finches, which Oliver loves to sit and watch. He likes to stick his fingers in the cage and say “tweet tweet!”. Kylie had bought a cage a couple of weeks ago for them, but we discovered today that the bars are spread too far apart. The first finch flew right out and started flying around the living room at my parents house. Everyone was screaming and laughing, which led to both babies getting scared and crying! It was chaotic, but really funny. Tonight was by far my favorite time with Oliver this weekend. He followed me around playing with different things while I was cleaning up around the house. I let him play with the broom and dustpan just for fun, and he pretended to sweep and then proceeded to the kitchen, opened up the trashcan, dumped the dustpan, and walked away just like I do it! Soooo cute! I said “Aw Oliver your so sweet!” and gave him a hug… he laid his head on my shoulder and said “Mama!” in the cutest voice I’ve ever heard. He melts my heart! Him and I sat at the table and ate PB&J sandwiches and tickled his tootsies. It was such a great, relaxing night! Oh, we also played shadow puppets! Oliver loved it…
Today at breakfast Oliver reached out pinched my nose twice and said “Honk Honk!”. It was so cute and after he just giggles at himself. I LOVE THAT BOY! He’s a little rascal though… first off, last night he had a bad dream and woke up screaming at midnight… normally if I leave him he’ll go back to sleep, but this time he started calling our names and the screaming didn’t decrease in volume at all so I went in and picked him up. I laid him in our bed and told him to go to sleep. He tried but has a really hard time sleeping with other people so he just wiggled and kicked for a long time. Kaleb got up to take Oliver back to his room, as soon as he put Oliver in his crib he started to cry and then yells “Mama, Dada night night!” basically saying that he wanted to sleep with us… THE BOY IS STARTING TO COMMUNICATE! That is pretty darn close to a sentence… so weird to hear coming from my baby Oliver. After that Kaleb said “no no Oliver you need to lay down and go to sleep.” so what does Oliver do? he yells “MAMA!!!!” haha. I came in and he was still adamant about sleeping with us, so I brought him back to our room for a couple of hours. So after a night of little sleep we get up in the morning and while I’m making my morning cup of joe Oliver decides that it would be a good idea to pour an entire water bottle all over our bed and my laptop…seriously??? It is a miracle that my laptop is completely fine and no damage was done! Come on son I just needed a cup of coffee!! After, we enjoyed some english muffins with nutella which Oliver refers to as “donut”, apparently it’s that good! We’re very excited that it’s Friday and that Daddy has a three day weekend! Hooray!
Auntie Kenzie drew this for Oliver and it is now proudly displayed on our fridge. It says “To my baby Oliver From Auntie Kenzie I love you!!!” She’s so sweet to him and she’s such a good aunt! Oliver is so blessed. I’m blessed!! She helps me out so much with the boys! She drew the owl for him because it’s one of his favorite things ever!
Oliver’s new word for the day is “pirate”! It’s so cute when he says it! That boy continues to melt my heart on a daily basis! Here are some pictures of what’s been going on around here lately…
Oliver was apparently pretending to be me… wearing my shirt and sweeping the floor!
Just a little banjo and some buttcrack…
Carter showing off his “happy fat boy” face… he’s not really this obese yet, I promise.
And the boys together… Oliver was loving on his little brother…
I cannot believe how fast the time is going. With Oliver I was so excited for him to grow up and learn new things, but with Carter all I want is for him to stay little and for the time to slow down. He turned three months old yesterday! He has been a lot more smiley than Oliver was and seems to have a much more animated little personality. Oliver has been Mr. Serious since he was born… I love how different they are. Carter loves to cuddle. He is a happy camper when he’s being held, but he’s also very good about laying down and going to bed at night. He hardly makes a peep anymore, he’ll normally go right to sleep. God has blessed us with some good sleeping babies so far! We are REALLY grateful!
Oliver loves his little brother, he’ll come up to Carter and say “Hi!! Tarter!!”. It’s really fun to see him show loves towards Carter already.
Oliver has been loving “driving” in the car. Whenever we’re getting out he asks to “drive” so I let him sit up front and play around for a few minutes. It’s his favorite thing to do right now, he turns the hazard lights on and off and likes to touch the dashboard and say “Woah! Hot!” over and over again. It brings him so much joy it’s great!
Oliver has been a huge fan of having people over to our house lately! Zach, Hanna, Kylie, Riss, Zailey, and Tyler in particular. :) We’ve started having them over for pizza and a walk to Starbucks every Friday night and he loves it! He stays up until well after ten o clock (which is saying something for him because he loves bedtime) just to hang out with everyone! It’s been really fun.
God has been giving me this incredible love for my boys and I just can’t get enough of them! I am so incredibly blessed to have them and am so privileged to be their Mom! Such a huge blessing, I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else with my life!
Oliver is sixteen months old today!! He’s getting so big. Okay so he’s been “big” for awhile, but he’s starting to act like a little toddler and that makes me a little sad! Where did my BABY Oliver go? He is saying SO MANY words now. I couldn’t even count how many words he can say, and he’s starting to communicate so much better with what he wants and what he’s looking at and all of that fun stuff. His favorite things this week have consisted of the following:
*A guitar pic. Uncle Tyty gave him a guitar pic the other day and he held onto it the whole way home brought it inside and starting pretending like the tennis racket was his guitar (because Tyler had been playing his guitar for him earlier in the day). He later stashed the pic in his favorite little cupboard where all of the flashlights are kept (he LOVES the flashlights) and went back later after dinner to grab it and continue “playing” the guitar. It was obviously very special to him!
*Flashlights. Kaleb has all kinds of flashlights even the kind that you strap to your forehead. Oliver is in love with them. He wears the one on his head while walking around with the other ones in his hand. He can even say “flashlight”. We like to play “bunny foo foo” with shadow puppets as mentioned before.
*The laundry basket. He has been all about the laundry basket this week. Seriously. He pushes it all around the house and occasionally decides that he needs to put something in it while he pushes it around so we find flashlights and keys and other random things in there. He’s nice enough though to “share” it with me when I do laundry.
*Keys. He loves carrying a set of keys around the house. We have all of our keys hanging up by our front door so he’ll walk up and say “Keys! Keys! Pease!”. This is really great and perfectly fine if Carter’s not laying on the floor of the living room. Carter boy definitely got clobbered in the head with a set today and was not happy about it. He did his really cute/heartbreaking pouty face and burst into tears. Oliver got spanked and was really upset that I got mad at him….so he cried too. Here was my predicament… Carter screaming because he got hurt…. Oliver crying because I was mad at him and he wanted to cuddle. OH-MY-GOSH… talk about heartbreaking I can’t hold both of them! Oliver has been doing this really scary cry where he holds his breath which is only when he gets REALLY upset and this is what he did! Talk about scaring the crap out of your mother, Oliver!! I tried to explain to Oliver that what he did was a NO NO and told him how much I loved him and he seemed to be ok after that. But only after some precious kisses and cuddles. But seriously…. he did the hold the breath thing to me twice today! My heart almost stops every time!
Since I’ve been staying home all day everyday he has become quite attached to me. This really warms my heart! He hasn’t been a Mama’s boy up until the last couple of months. I could have left him with someone for a few hours and he wouldn’t have even noticed I was gone. Now I go running for thirty minutes and within one minute of me being gone he’s asking for me. I love him. SO SO MUCH! I am so glad that I get to be home with him everyday. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on things like I used to.
Carter boy has been very happy, smiley, and talkative the last few days. I love it. He’s still a little peanut and hasn’t changed (appearance wise) as drastically as Oliver did at this age. He still has most of his hair and his eyes have lightened up and look a little blue-er. I hope they stay that way, we’ll see. I’m pretty sure he’s going to be a tough little guy by the time he gets a little older, his older brother doesn’t quite have the “be careful” thing down yet.
this cracks me up every time I look at it…